Have we become a more abusive society?
Like many students, I worked to put myself through school and in the process held a number of temporary jobs that, for most people in the U.S., are not temporary. By happenstance, among the part-time and temporary jobs I held none involved being a clerk in a retail establishment, so the observation I’m about to relate comes entirely from the customer point of view.
I was in a Target store the other day. And to be clear, this is not about Target – that’s just where the interaction occurred. As I made my way to the front of the check out line I took note of the very pleasant lady who was operating the register. I would say that she was an “older lady,” but I don’t think she was older than me, so I won’t go there. When my turn came, she looked at the item I was buying and told me that the store was having a “two for one” sale and if I went back to get another it would be free. So, I went back, got another of the same item, and came back to the register. As I made my way back to the register I could tell she was nervous or upset. She started apologizing profusely, telling me that she made a mistake and that the item I was buying was not, after all, part of the sale. I thought I had a normal reaction, which was, “Oh, well – no worries, I’ll just take the one.” I won’t try to recreate her response verbatim, but through a long string of “thank you” and “you’re so nice” I got the message that she was surprised by my reaction. I asked her if she thought I would be angry and she said, “yes – I thought you would yell at me and call my manager – that’s what they all do.” As I walked away she was telling the next customer how nice I was.
I don’t know why this incident stuck with me the way it has, but I think it’s a pretty sad commentary on the state of our “civilized” society that people who are doing their best to get by have come to expect abuse for making inconsequential innocent mistakes.
In the conflict engagement classes I teach it is common for there to be a high percentage of people who want to work internationally and who have a commendable desire to alleviate the stress and suffering of those in what we commonly identify as conflict zones. My experience at Target suggests that for those who find the pursuit of world peace daunting, there are ample opportunities to observe and alleviate stress and conflict pretty close to home.